Today I met my friend Kristin for tea. I went downstairs on my butt holding my crutches. I decided to try to open my front door alone. I haven't been able to do this before because the door is heavy and I had trouble figuring out how to position myself. I got my crutch in the doorway to hold it open for me and walked through my front door all by myself for the first time in maybe 7 months or longer. I felt so happy and so excited that I just stood outside the door beaming.
We walked to the coffeeshop together. It was an easy walk. I might try to go further tomorrow. Kristin walked me back to my apartment and I opened the door myself for the first time. I feel like I can leave my home alone now. It's a gigantic deal to me to be able to open that door by myself.
Perhaps because of my excitement, I decided to practice crutching up the stairs. I started with the first two steps and, before I knew it, I had gone up all 21 steps. I did it perfectly with no stumbles. I think inside steps tend to be easier because they are a little more even. I feel so proud of myself for making the attempt to open the door and go up the stairs. Yay!
I miss the time in my life when everything did not seem to require so much effort. I miss walking without thinking about each step. Being a new amputee definitely requires a level of mindfulness that my healthy body didn't. I am still getting used to all of these changes.
Some days, particularly Mondays, I feel frustrated at my lack of focus and low energy. I think I am still recovering from the weekly chemo. Being nauseous all day takes away my motivation and my energy. I get bored watching television all day.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Today, I crutched up the street to my primary care doctor's office so that I could get him to sign paperwork for the genetic testing that was initiated back in December. The office had me come in for an appointment which seemed unnecessary. I felt so good that I made it the two blocks with energy. I didn't have to stop to rest.
When I got there, we spent a good ten minutes updating all of my medical records. I was frustrated that we were discussing cancer treatment instead of the hold up on the genetic testing. Finally, the doctor suggested that the assistant call my insurance company, the genetics company, and the oncologist. She came back about 15 minutes later and said that the genetics company had already started the testing process and didn't need anything else. Basically, there was some confusion about what needed to happen which wasted my morning.
While waiting at the doctor's office, I read a letter from my insurance company which denied coverage for my PET scan. The PET scan would identify any cancer in my body. Last year, after the initial breast cancer diagnosis, my doctors had tried to get me one, but it was denied. I can't help but wonder about how things would be different if the sarcoma in my leg had been detected before I even felt the pain. I might still have two legs that reach the ground. I can't do anything about that now, but I am calling the insurance company to find out how to appeal the decision.
When I got home, my prosthesist called to ask if he could bring me the socket, the part of the prosthesis which goes over my leg. He asked me to put the liner on my leg. I tried a few times before I was able to get it onto my leg. Jeff helped me put it on again. I think it just requires more strength than I put into it. He brought a clear plastic socket to try on over the liner. It kind of had to be turned as we put it on.
Then Jeff put a small stool under my leg and asked me to put my full weight on my left leg. I hadn't done that in so long and seemed to have trouble getting my right leg to take a short break. When I stood on the left leg, we could find the parts of the socket that put pressure on my hip and belly. I was surprised that the pressure was more on my "sit bone" than on the end of my stump. I practiced sitting and standing so that we could figure a better shape on how the socket responds to the rest of my body. Jeff said that the edges would be made of a soft flexible material, so it would move with me.
He might be done with the socket as early as next Friday. The next time he comes, he will bring a knee and a foot so that I can walk on it. I am so excited. It feels like Christmas and my birthday rolled into one. I will probably be walking by my birthday at the end of March.
When I got there, we spent a good ten minutes updating all of my medical records. I was frustrated that we were discussing cancer treatment instead of the hold up on the genetic testing. Finally, the doctor suggested that the assistant call my insurance company, the genetics company, and the oncologist. She came back about 15 minutes later and said that the genetics company had already started the testing process and didn't need anything else. Basically, there was some confusion about what needed to happen which wasted my morning.
While waiting at the doctor's office, I read a letter from my insurance company which denied coverage for my PET scan. The PET scan would identify any cancer in my body. Last year, after the initial breast cancer diagnosis, my doctors had tried to get me one, but it was denied. I can't help but wonder about how things would be different if the sarcoma in my leg had been detected before I even felt the pain. I might still have two legs that reach the ground. I can't do anything about that now, but I am calling the insurance company to find out how to appeal the decision.
When I got home, my prosthesist called to ask if he could bring me the socket, the part of the prosthesis which goes over my leg. He asked me to put the liner on my leg. I tried a few times before I was able to get it onto my leg. Jeff helped me put it on again. I think it just requires more strength than I put into it. He brought a clear plastic socket to try on over the liner. It kind of had to be turned as we put it on.
Then Jeff put a small stool under my leg and asked me to put my full weight on my left leg. I hadn't done that in so long and seemed to have trouble getting my right leg to take a short break. When I stood on the left leg, we could find the parts of the socket that put pressure on my hip and belly. I was surprised that the pressure was more on my "sit bone" than on the end of my stump. I practiced sitting and standing so that we could figure a better shape on how the socket responds to the rest of my body. Jeff said that the edges would be made of a soft flexible material, so it would move with me.
He might be done with the socket as early as next Friday. The next time he comes, he will bring a knee and a foot so that I can walk on it. I am so excited. It feels like Christmas and my birthday rolled into one. I will probably be walking by my birthday at the end of March.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Walking in my neighborhood
Today, I used my crutches to walk two blocks to a coffeeshop with my friend Nicole. It was the first time that I used my crutches for walking outside. I didn't have to stop and rest at all. It was very exciting! I am not sure if the crutches were easier or if I am stronger or both. I am excited as it means that I could probably take the bus if I wanted or needed to go somewhere. Yay!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Getting out of the house
I had an amazing time at the Hearts for Jen Benefit on Saturday. It is a wonderful thing to socialize outside of the apartment and to leave it without going to a doctor's appointment. I hear that the show in Portland was also very successful. It is very exciting.
Yesterday, I had lunch with my friend Tony. He wheeled me about 6 blocks down the street to Johnny Changs, which turned out to be wheelchair accessible. We had a very leisurely lunch. I can't describe how good it feels to leave my place socially.
I have been very well. I am learning how to do things without my leg. Mopping the floor was a challenge today. I ended up sitting on the floor and cleaning it that way.
Yesterday, I had lunch with my friend Tony. He wheeled me about 6 blocks down the street to Johnny Changs, which turned out to be wheelchair accessible. We had a very leisurely lunch. I can't describe how good it feels to leave my place socially.
I have been very well. I am learning how to do things without my leg. Mopping the floor was a challenge today. I ended up sitting on the floor and cleaning it that way.
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