First day of pt at Magee outpatient

Today Ken and I headed to Magee's outpatient center for my physical therapy evaluation. I met Julie and she watched me walk with crutches. Then she had me doff the leg so that she could examine my limb. My hip flexors are still pretty tight, but I am having trouble laying on my belly to stretch them. Julie told me other stretches I could do.

After that, I walked with a cane. I showed off how well I can have all my weight on lefty for a second, maybe, if one is generous. I showed my generally good stair skills.

Then it was time to go. My appointments are Tuesdays and Thursdays. I feel glad to start, but frustrated by how slow my learning is. I just want to be able to do everything I want again.  

Sometimes, it feels less ok for me to complain since, you know, I am not dead because of the amputation. I miss my leg (when it was healthy) so much. I even miss the knee pain because at least I had a knee that could feel. Although it is nice to not have arthritis anymore. I badly miss the ease of how things were. Things may never be so easy again. Even if they are, I always notice the ease with wonder. 

Another busy week

(There's no reason for Mr. Bunky's picture to be here except that he is patiently waiting for me to go to sleep so he can sleep, too.)

I started outpatient physical therapy this week at Novacare. I only have 11 more sessions. I aim to be walking with just a cane. PT Dan seemed very straightforward as he evaluated my range of motion and my abilities. 

I had my regular appointment with my gyno on Thursday. I really like her. She spent an hour reviewing my medical stuff from last year with me. I felt so cared for! She was concerned about my support systems and my coping with everything. She's the best! In case you were wondering, I took off my leg for the exam. I was wondering about it beforehand and thought it would be easier without it. 

Friday was chemo again. My shoulder X-ray is totally clear, but my shoulder pain has escalated to where I take painkillers a few times a day. I am getting a ct-scan, a bone scan, and an EKG (my blood pressure is pretty high). I also have the ultrasound and the mammogram the surgeon ordered. I hope we can do a few of these during the same visit.

After chemo and my nap, I went for a walk in the neighborhood. Ken met up for me and we had dinner at a restaurant. We hardly ever go on dates and it was fantastic. I realized that my shoulder hurt less after the walking.

Today, I walked to Ken's house to watch the soccer game. Then we walked to Lucky to have drinks for Rich's birthday. That's about .6 miles total. I left early because my shoulder started aching and I couldn't take deep breaths without pain. 

This breathlessness makes

Me miss the easy air flow

For years I ignored 

Jimmy says that writing haikus helps with pain because it forces you to think in rhythm and in syllable which makes it harder to focus on the uncomfortable body sensations.