Bloody Sunday

I had a great weekend. I made chili in my slow cooker and shared some with Ken for our Saturday Night Date Night. Sometimes we do normal couple things and It feels very pleasant not to have cancer always be my forethought.

Today, I visited with Ken. He made a version of huevos rancheros with the leftover chili. Yummy! As he left for the Eagles game, Adrienne arrived. We spent time catching up on work and the on our personal lives.

As she headed out, my parents arrived. We had just greeted each other when my visiting nurse came. Her job was to check in with me, take my vitals
and change my bandages. The first two steps went swimmingly.

Then I started to help with the bandages by cutting them and outlying the off. The last few layers were stuck to the wound. My nurse pours saline on the bandages and tugs them off. Blood starts spurting rhythmically and I start to freak juror. I beg mom to continue the story she was sharing as a way to distract myself from some terrifying thoughts and feelings. The nurse presses ABD pads against to stop the bleeding and calls one of my doctors to determine whether I need to go to the emergency room, which also freaked me out.

The nurse leaves with the promise that she will call me with the doctor's news and ethat I needed to keep an eye on the leakage as she estimated that at least 300mL of fluid wear lost. She rewraps the bandage quite snugly. Finally, she calls said that I do not have to go to the emergency room. Yay! I resume my visit with my parents. My mind does not move too far from deep anxiety and I keep imagining wet places on the blankets and pillows. I put easy comedies on Netflix and fall asleep. When I woke up, I carefully brought everything I needed with me and have been putting off sleep. Writing is a form of procrastination for sleep.

I think that the nurse had wrapped the wound extra snuggly on Saturday and fluid could not escape. When she pulled off the last bandage, I think she pulled off a scab that had dammed up the fluid outflow.

Tomorrow I am calling Rad/Onc and explaining the blood, my hypothesis of what happened, that i will be going alone, that the EMTs will charge extra to take me across the street for chemo. I might suggest that Dr K either examine the wound at Dr Rubins office or wait till Tuesday to see it.