I am worried that when the EMTs come I won't be able to go with them. Also, I am worked that if I do go with them I will be hospitalized. Bleh!
Yesterday, when the EMTs came, I had trouble sitting in their stair chair. It hurt my left leg to much to press against the metal frame, even with a pillow under it. I had trouble using my left leg on Saturday and Sunday. Monday was not much better. I tried hard to get myself "ok" in the chair, not even comfortable, but couldn't do it. I took all my pain meds, too. I vomited, I think from the pain. Eventually, dispatch contacted my EMTs and said that they either needed to take me or they needed to move on. I said to move on, since I still couldn't do it.
I rescheduled my appointments, Chemo is today. Radiation is tomorrow. My friend, Mia, who was going to help me get across the street from Radiation to Chemo, came to my apartment with some food and drinks. Her presence helped me. I was feeling like a failure and she pointed out that I wasn't.
The nurse came to redo my bandages. A nurse comes daily to change my bandages, but today's visit was more of an ordeal, partly because she didn't give a warning so I could time my drug intake. Anyway, I could not move my leg easily or without excruciating pain when she first started working on it. Eventually, I was able to bend it my foot was on the ground and my knee "was pointed at the sky". The nurse rebandaged it in this position and seemed frustrated that I couldn't do that the whole time. I don't even want to think about any illness or injury to Righty.
Today I hope and pray that I can take the stair chair. I am worried that I overworked myself so much that Dr. Rubin may hospitalize me. Yesterday I was terrified at that possibility. Today I accept it more. Today, I can move it much better with less pain, but it was a struggle to function. My friends helped me all night. I am fuzzy on details, as the nurse suggested taking them every 4 hours, instead of when I felt pain.
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